I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's synching now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. Velcro - what a rip off! Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner? Oh deer! Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. Why did the the cowboy ride his horse? it was tooo fuck'n heavy to carry.... I hate jokes about female genitalia - Period! There are only 10 types of people- those who understand binary and those who don't
Kobieta jest jak wino. Im starsza tym więcej czasu powinna spędzać w piwnicy.
Pewien dziadek stwierdził, że wcale nie jest tak bardzo schorowany widząc, ile tabletek łyka jego wnuczek przed wyjściem na dyskotekę.
Szef codziennie nazywał sekretarkę "swoim Słoneczkiem". Sam przy niej promieniał. Aż któregoś dnia spochmurniał. Słoneczko zaszło.
Dobry samochód jeździ na pełnych obrotach, a samochód Chucka Norrisa jeździ na pół obrotach xD
Jaś przychodzi do domu i woła: - Mamo, pani mnie wyróżniła przy całej klasie! Mama odpowiada: - To fajnie, a dlaczego cię pochwaliła Jaś: - No bo powiedziała, że nasza klasa to sami debile, a ja największy!
Do komisariatu policji przychodzi facet i mówi: - Skradziono mi rower. - Czy miał dzwonek? - Nie. - A światło odblaskowe? - Nie. - W takim razie płacisz mandat.
pszyhodzi pijak pot dżewo i sro. prszyhodzi policiant do pijako i pyto=co tu jest? a pijak= sra policjont= powiedz pan normalnie: "co pan robi?" pijak= SRAJEM I PIJEM!!!!!!!!! policjant=a ma pan chusteczki do dupy? pijak= oczywiście, że nie nigdy nie wycieram!
Port w Świnoujściu. Przy redzie wielki prom pasażerski. Zziajany facet z wielkim plecakiem biegnie wzdłuż brzegu ile ma pary w nogach. W biegu rzuca plecak za burtę promu. Bierze rozbieg i skacze. Łapie się za burtę; po chwili, ostatkiem sił podciąga się i przełazi na pokład. - Ufff, k***a ... - dyszy. - Zdążyłem. - Brawo, bravissimo - mówi kapitan. - A nie lepiej było poczekać, aż przycumujemy?
co robi blondynka na środku oceanu??? Czeka na walenie!!!